Yeah, let’s start off by saying, “Shame on you, ABC” for yet the 5th Bachelor in a row. Have you completely pulled Bachelorettes out of rotation? Can you not find any worthy? Has Deanna not yet recovered from her breakdown of not being picked last season by dumb buns to be a contender? I know three divas who would be happy to fill the slot. And not only are you out of domestic bachelors, you ‘re now dipping in other pots for eligible men.
The newest bachelor hails from nifty ole England. Tally ho, this bloke is actually a funny chap with signs of a personality that the last few bachelors seemed to severely be lacking. He is tall, cute, handsome and his face turns red when he drinks. Think Hugh Grant meets James Bond.
Matt something is his name. And I admit to missing the first episode, ABC didn’t send me a tv alert but I am now thoroughly caught up. On last night’s episode several contestants were clearly confused about which reality show they were on. Girls, Girls, Girls — this is NOT American Idol! There is no singing required and in fact, you will get demerrits and secure your last appearance on The Bachelor for belting out love ballads, home-grown lyrical poems, opera or any other form of song designed to prove your love to horrified bachelor man who has to sit in front of your embarrassing shinnanigans while trying not to choke on his own saliva as he inwardly laughs at you not with you. If you think i am being too harsh, take note of the girls who did NOT get a rose last nite. Truly ladies, would you EVER sing to a guy like that on a date in the real world? I should shit slapping hope not, so DONT’ do it on Television! Unless you want to end up on Best Week Ever…than have at it!
In addition to the singing competittion on the Bachelor, there is one lady who is cursed with stress-induced hiccups and you can hear her “meeps” all over the place. Yeah, um, if I had some stress-induced uncontrollable noise provoking body tick I’d apply to find a man on national tv too! NOT!
And speaking of talent, I cannot not mention blonde girls’ display of unusual body contortions at the end of the episode which included turning her arms and elbows inside out but most impressive, twirling her tongue around in a 360 circle. This diva’s betting London Bachelor Boy is dying to know how that tongue works down under!
Diva 4 out… tally ho till next time.
the bachelor, the bachelor london calling, matt grant
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